


One Size Does Not Fit All

by amythis



Series: The Only "Square Pegs" Fanfiction in Existence [1]
Category: Square Pegs (TV show)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Johnny Slash slash, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-22 12:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10696938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: Shortly before graduation, a night in The City helps Patty Greene realize that it's OK if people and relationships are hard to categorize.





	1. So Tell Me Where's the Party

When Lauren starts off our last Thursday night study session with "You know what I'm going to miss most about Weemawee?", I don't reply as I would've two or three years ago, " Nothing?" Instead I just ask, "What?"

"The guys."

I know she doesn't mean the entire male population of our high school. She means "our guys," Marshall Blechtman and Johnny "Slash" Ulasewicz. Not that we ever dated them, despite Marshall's crush on her and, all right, my little crush on Johnny. But the four of us have been almost inseparable for four years. We even went to prom together, platonically.

"Yeah, me, too," I admit.

After graduation next week, we're going to scatter. I'll be trying to find affordable housing near my college, Marshall will be a counselor at his old summer camp, and Johnny will be loft-sitting in The City. Lauren keeps joking that we're abandoning her, although I don't think she's really joking. At least I won't be gone that long, but yeah, we won't see the guys much this summer, and maybe not for a long while after that.

"Maybe we can do something on Grad Nite."

I smile. "I can remember a time when you worried hanging around them was bad for our popularity."

"Well, that was before I realized how lame the popular people were. Besides, that was mostly when I was an immature little freshman. Well, not that I was ever little."

I've long since given up trying to convince her that she's not as fat as she thinks. I actually envy her curves, although thank God I'm not as flat as I used to be. Still tall and skinny though.

I tease, "And now you're a full grown woman."

"Well, sort of. Do you think I'll be the only virgin in community college?"

"I doubt it."

We've had the "to save or not to save" conversation a couple times. We dated a few guys that weren't scared off by Marshall and Johnny, but no one we wanted to go all the way with. We're both romantic enough that we want our first times to be special. Losing it just to lose it doesn't appeal to us. But that does make us even uncooler than we are anyway. My plan is to fall in love in college and let nature take its course from there. Lauren half hopes that her favorite teacher, Rob Donovan, will see her with fresh eyes at our five-year reunion, but that's an awfully long time to wait.

"Well, maybe I'll get drunk on Grad Nite and let Marshall have his way with me."

I know she's kidding, so I don't point out the hundred things wrong with that plan, including that Marshall is probably a virgin, too, and wouldn't know what he was doing. Instead I say, "Am I supposed to get Johnny drunk, too?"

"Of course, Patty. We're best friends. We do everything together."

"Well, it would be a nice goodbye."

She's about to reply, when the phone in her room rings. She answers and says with a grin, "Hey, Johnny, we were just talking about you."

My life would be a lot less trouble if not for her.

"Oh, just wondering if you and Marshall wanted to get together next weekend. No, together with us."

I manage not to laugh.

"This weekend? Oh, that does sound like fun."

I wonder how much of this is just to tease me. For all I know, that's not even Johnny. It could be a wrong number.

"Yeah, hold on." She holds the receiver out to me.

"Hello?" I say warily.

"Hi, Patty. So are we on?"

"On what?"

"On for Friday."

"What's on Friday?"

"Didn't Lauren tell you?"

"Not in detail."

"Well, you know Mao Mix?"

"The cat food?"

"No, they spell it with an A. They're post-New-Wave Asian techno fusion."

"Oh, of course."

"Well, you know my drummer John Densmore?"

Him I've heard of. He played for the Doors years before he joined what's now known as Open 72 Hours. "Yeah, isn't that who you're loft-sitting for?"

"Right. Well, he's friends with the Mao Mix drummer and before he left town he told me about a stealth concert MM is doing tomorrow night."

"What's a stealth concert?"

"No publicity and everyone denies that the concert is going to be taking place."

"How do they expect to build a following?"

"Oh, they have a following. This is just for their true fans, not the posers."

I don't see how Lauren and I qualify, but I just say, "Sounds interesting. Thanks for inviting us."

"Of course. It's more fun with the four of us. We'll pick you up at 8."

It's not till we say goodbye and hang up that I realize I didn't ask how late we'll be getting back. OK, we are adults and school is almost out, but we do have finals next week. Well, it'll be a Friday, so it should be OK.

"Hm, I wonder if we'd get carded at the bar at the stealth concert." I'm sure she's kidding again.


	2. I Have to Wear My Glasses

Lauren wasn't kidding. Or maybe she was last night but not now. The stealth concert is in a smoky little club where they didn't card us to get in, or since. And Lauren is drinking, a lot. Marshall is drinking, too, although since he's the class clown, it's harder to tell the difference. Johnny is straight-edge like usual, but he's so spacy, I don't know if it matters. I'm staying sober since it's always been my role to be the voice of reason.

Mao Mix is good but weird. I wish I could relax and enjoy them, but I have to keep an eye on Lauren.

At first, all I have to worry about is loud laughter and lewd dancing, both by herself, although Marshall is an attentive audience.

"Lauren, you're making a spectacle of yourself!" I know I sound like her grandmother, but what else am I supposed to say?

"You're the one wearing glasses," Marshall says and then laughs, but not as much as Lauren does.

"You're funny, Marshy. And cute."

He blinks. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Do I taste drunk?"

And then before I can stop her, she kisses Marshall! He happily kisses back. No one in the club seems to care, but I know Lauren will regret this in the morning.

She pulls away and says, "I think I'm gonna puke!"

"Too much tongue?" he asks.

I offer, "Do you want me to take you to the ladies' room?"

"No, I want to go someplace quiet."

"Yeah, Babe, let's you and me go somewhere where we can be alone."

"Not now, Marshall!"

He looks understandably hurt and confused by her rejection.

"Marshall," I say as gently as I can under the circumstances, including the blaring techno fusion, "can you go find Johnny?"

"Yeah, sure."

But Johnny comes back just then. "So what do you think of the band?"

"I'm gonna hurl!"

"Jeez, Lauren, I thought you were more open to new music than that."

"She's been drinking too much. Do you mind if we leave?"

"Oh, no problem."

We all head outside, away from the smoke and loud music.

"Is that any better?" I ask.

"Now I wanna lie down."

"Good idea, Babe."

"Not now, Marshall," she yawns.

"We could go to John D's loft. I've got the keys."

I don't know if that's a good idea, but we can't take her home like this. She needs to sober up before her parents see her. "OK."

"Lauren, do you promise not to blow chunks in the Slashmobile?"

"I won't blow anything."

Marshall snickers and I roll my eyes. Johnny drives of course, and I make sure to sit between Lauren and Marshall. We've all crowded into the front like usual, without thinking. I wish Lauren and Marshall didn't smell so strongly of alcohol. And Johnny isn't the only one who hopes she won't vomit in here.

Instead she falls asleep on my shoulder. Her breath is rancid, but at least she's quiet now. Marshall is singing "The Curly Shuffle," mostly to himself.

The guys have to carry her out of the car, into the lobby, into and out of the elevator, and into John Densmore's apartment, while I deal with the keys. The loft is on the tenth floor and has a picture window with a stunning view of The City. I'm unable to appreciate it for long though because Johnny says, "Now I'm gonna puke." 

"The heights thing, Man?" Marshall asks sympathetically.

"Yeah."

"Go sit down."

"OK." He does but on the couch facing the picture window. I'm worried about Johnny, although puzzled why he's loft-sitting with this phobia. But Lauren collapses onto Marshall, so I rush over to help support her.

"I'm gonna puke," she yawns.

"Me, too."

"Johnny? What are you doing here? And where's here?"

"I'll explain later," I say, and with Marshall's help get her into the bathroom. She doesn't throw up right away and when she does, I worry she'll set off Johnny in the living room. Or maybe Marshall since he's drunk, too. But the living room is eerily silent. As for Marshall, he tenderly holds her braids out of the way.

"Thanks, Guys," she says afterwards.

"Hey, what are friends for?" he asks.

I ask, "Do you feel better now? "

"Sort of, but I could use a shower."

"Good idea," Marshall says, peeling off his Cure T-shirt, a hand-me-down from Johnny.

Lauren giggles, but I say, "You should go check on Johnny."

"Good idea," he says again. He gets to his feet and goes back to the living room.

I shut the door after him and then help Lauren out of her clothes and into the shower. I feel kind of weird about this. I mean I am her best friend but this has been such a weird night. "I'll be right back."

I go into the living room and I can see Marshall with his arms around Johnny, who's resting his head on Marshall's shoulder. "It's gonna be OK, Slashman. I'm here now."

"You're so good to me, Marshall."

"Hey, I love you, Man."

Well, this is awkward. Not that I want to read too much into it. I clear my throat and both guys look at me over the back of the couch. Neither looks remotely as embarrassed as I feel. "Um, excuse me. Do you think Mr. Densmore left behind any clothes that Lauren could change into?" Not that I know how I'd explain that to her parents, but it'd be better than her own clothes, which smell of alcohol.

"I don't think so, but I could check. As soon as the room stops spinning."

"Here." Marshall throws me his T-shirt, which he didn't put back on.

"Thanks," I say as I catch it. It should fit Lauren. Marshall is as tall as I am now, although we're both still much shorter than Johnny. It'll be long on her and maybe a little tight but not too bad. She's stepping out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, when I return. I hand her the shirt.

She looks at it and sings, "If there's a cure for this, I don't want it," from the Diana Ross song "Love Hangover," which I haven't heard in a decade.

She puts the shirt on over the towel and I escort her to the bedroom. The bed is enormous, so if I set her down in the middle of it, she probably won't roll off. I tuck her in and tell her to get some rest. I shut the door behind me and then go back to the living room to face the guys.


	3. He Did, And We Know It, But With Whom?

Both guys' heads turn again but it's Johnny who asks, "How's Lauren?"

"OK considering. How are you?"

"Better."

I go over to the front of the couch and sit next to Marshall. The guys are no longer touching each other, which makes me feel less like I'm intruding. I look at Johnny. "You're afraid of heights?"

"Not always. But it hit me when I came in."

"Oh."

"How are you doing, Patty?" Marshall asks, startling me by lightly stroking my arm. I'm the least physically demonstrative of the four of us. And even though the guys are my closest friends next to Lauren, this gesture catches me off guard.

"OK I guess. It's been kind of a crazy night."

"Yeah, you're stuck being the sane one, as usual."

"I like that Patty is sane. It's so unusual."

I laugh. "Oh, Johnny," I say affectionately. All my other crushes have been ones that make sense. Even Vinnie, who's sexy in that macho Italian way. You know, opposites attract. But Johnny is unclassifiable. Maybe that's it, that I can never figure him out, but I keep trying.

It's Marshall who says, "You're a good friend, Patty." And it's Marshall who kisses me, a soft gentle kiss on the cheek.

Then Johnny says, "You should call your parents and Lauren's to let them know you're spending the night."

I stop staring at Marshall and stare at Johnny. "What?" I croak out.

"Oh, don't worry, John D won't mind. He said I could have people over. And use the phone."

"Spend the night?"

"Yeah, by the time Lauren's in any condition to go home, it'll be pretty late. So let's just let her sleep it off."

That makes sense but I don't think either set of parents would approve of us staying with the guys. "What would I say?"

Marshall says, "I told my parents the Slashmobile broke down and we're staying at Johnny's friend's place in The City."

"You called already?"

"Yeah, while you were putting Lauren to bed."

"And your folks didn't have a million questions?"

"No, why should they?"

I shake my head. "It's different for girls."

"Then maybe you'd better not tell them there's only one bed."

"Thanks, Johnny. Where's the phone?"

"I'll show you if you'll hold my hand on the walk over there."

So I hold his hand as he leads me over to the phone in the kitchen. "Are you going to be OK while I dial?"

"Yeah, let me just turn and face the window."

"Doesn't that make it worse?"

"No, because it keeps me from imagining that it's scarier than it is."

"Oh." That makes a weird kind of sense. And it gives me courage to make my phone calls, three because of the divorce.

I call my dad last, since he's the most overprotective. But even he swallows my lies, down to Johnny's nice married friends not having a car because they live in The City. He does offer to come pick us up, but I tell him that Johnny knows a great mechanic that we can go to tomorrow, and we should be back by noon at the latest.

After I hang up, Johnny turns away from the window to look at me and say, "Marshall's right. You are a good friend."

"But a terrible liar."

"You just need practice."

I again affectionately laugh and say, "Oh, Johnny."

"Patty." Then he leans down and kisses me, on the lips! I kiss back, even though I feel really confused. Afterwards, he says, "Sorry I meant to ask first."

"It's OK. I mean, it was good."

"Yeah, but I feel dizzy again."

So do I. "Let's go back to the couch."

This time I sit in the middle, but Marshall says, "If you two want the couch, I can go in the bedroom."

"No, I don't think so."

"Hey, I would never put the moves on a girl who's passed out drunk. Of course, all bets are off once she wakes up."

"That's very reassuring, thank you."

"Come on, she's the one who started the kissing."

"Because she was drunk."

"Well, I'm a little drunk, too. So she took advantage of me."

"I kissed Patty and we're not drunk."

"Yeah, I saw that, Slashman. What was that about?"

"I just felt like kissing her."

"Guys, can you please not talk about me as if I'm not here?"

"OK, Patty, why'd you kiss him back?"

"I don't know. It's sort of a reflex. When someone you like kisses you, you kiss back."

"Well, you like me, and I don't think you'd kiss back if I kissed you."

"But you wouldn't kiss me. Lauren's the one you've had the crush on all these years."

He actually blushes a little. "Is it that obvious?"

"Oh, totally. Even Pennifer knows and she's totally self-absorbed, totally."

Marshall groans and puts his head in his hands. "I knew I shouldn't have kissed her back! Now she'll hate me in the morning."

"She probably won't even remember it in the morning."

"Not helpful, Man."

"Sorry. Patty, maybe you should kiss him."

Marshall takes his head out of his hands and we both look at Johnny and say, "What?"

"To cheer him up. And distract him."

"Then maybe you should kiss him."

"Oh, OK." And Johnny leans past me to kiss Marshall. The class clown doesn't kiss back, but neither does he push Johnny away. "Sorry, I forgot to ask first again. "

Marshall wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah, when you kiss Lauren, be sure to warn her."

"Oh, I don't think I'd want to kiss Lauren."

"What's wrong with Lauren?" I ask, feeling offended on her behalf.

"Well, she drank even more than Marshall, so her breath's probably even worse."

"Is that a hint that I should go brush my teeth?"

"If you wouldn't mind. You can use John D's guest brush."

Marshall stands up. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do while I'm gone."

I still haven't quite parsed that by the time Marshall shuts the bathroom door behind him. Then Johnny says, "This is like your burger all over again."

"My what?"

"You know, when you stopped hanging out with the three of us because of the school musical. I felt like my burger at the Grease should've been yours, and then Marshall's should've been mine, and Lauren's was Marshall's. But then you came back and everyone's burger was right again. "

I obviously don't remember what happened in my absence, but I remember Johnny being happy that I and my burger were there. And Lauren said, "I'm so happy, I could eat all your burgers!" We were so young and innocent then.

"How's my breath?" Johnny suddenly asks.

"It's fine. How's mine?"

"You always smell nice, Patty."

"Thank you."

"Can I kiss you again? "

"I think we need to talk about the first kiss more. And not in front of Marshall."

"Oh, I got the idea when I saw Marshall and Lauren kissing. Well, I've thought about it before, but this seemed a good night to try it."

"Oh. And when you kissed Marshall?"

"Same reason."

I think of a Josie Cotton song that came out when I was in junior high, "Johnny, Are You Queer?" I would never put it so rudely, but now I wonder. I mean, he is queer in the old-fashioned sense of strange. But it occurs to me now, I've never heard of him dating anyone. And platonic double dates don't count. "Um, are you bi?"

"I've never really put a label on it, but yeah, I've been with both men and women."

"You're not a virgin?"

"You thought I was?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why? Because Marshall is?"

At least I got one right. "Well, yeah, and you never date. And you belong to the Jughead Fan Club."

"I like his hat. And I've met people when I've come to The City by myself."

"You've had sex in The City?"

"Not every time but sometimes."

"Strangers?"

"Acquaintances."

"Oh." This is all so new to me. I want to be open-minded but it's not easy. And, OK, he is two years older than the rest of us, but I can't picture me, Lauren, or Marshall having done all this by the age of twenty.

"See? I'm not the first guy he's kissed." I didn't hear Marshall come back and now he sits next to Johnny.

"Well, you could've been my first but you know how I felt about kissing friends."

"How did you feel?" I ask.

"Well, on the one hand, it seemed like a good way to express affection. But on the other hand, it seemed like it might change everything."

"Then Lauren opened up that door?" Marshall suggests.

"Yeah. Did you brush your teeth?"

"Is that your subtle way of asking if you can kiss me again, Slashman?"

"I don't do subtlety."

"Wait a minute. Marshall, are you bi?"

"Officially, no. But see, I'm drunk, so I can use that as an excuse to experiment."

"You're not that drunk," Johnny observes and I'm beginning to have my own doubts.

"Drunk enough," Marshall says, and then he and Johnny lean over and kiss right in front of me. I can't believe this is happening! And I don't know how I feel about it, but I can't look away

When it's over, I can't help asking Marshall, "How was it?"

"You should know. You've kissed him."

"Yeah, but I'm more used to kissing guys than you are."

"It's not that different kissing guys than girls."

I shake my head. "I'll take your word for it, Johnny."

Marshall mischievously says, "Or we could wake up Lauren so you can find out."

"I'm not feeling that experimental."

"Besides, Lauren hasn't brushed her teeth," Johnny says fastidiously.

"Unlike me."

"You don't do subtlety either, do you, Marshall?"

"No, I do Nixon. And Reagan. And Roseanne Roseannadanna. And—"

Before he can finish his list of impressions, I kiss him. He kisses back, and yes, he uses his tongue. I'm glad Johnny made him brush.

Before I can figure out how I feel about Marshall or the kiss, I hear Lauren exclaim, "What the hell is going on?"


	4. Why Do You Think They Call It Beer?

Marshall and I break apart as Johnny says, "I'll be right back," and exits to the bathroom.

Lauren takes his spot on the couch and grabs my arm. "Patty, why were you kissing Marshall?"

"Aw, you're jealous. That's so cute!"

"Marshall, you can kiss whoever want, but why would Patty kiss you?"

I'm getting the feeling she doesn't remember kissing him herself, or much else.

"It's a long story," I say.

"I'll bet. And where the hell are we?"

I wonder how far back I have to start.

Johnny returns with aspirin and a small glass of water. "This is John Densmore's loft."

"Oh."

"Here. These are for you."

"Thanks, Johnny." She lets go of my arm and reaches for the aspirin and water. "How'd you know I have a headache?"

"Lucky guess." He sits down next to her.

I wait till she's done swallowing before I gently ask, "Lauren, do you remember anything you did tonight?"

"No." She looks down at herself and then exclaims, "Oh my God, I slept with Marshall!"

"I wish."

I glare at him.

"Sorry."

"If I didn't sleep with Marshall, why I am wearing his T-shirt and nothing else?"

"You're not wearing any underwear?"

"Marshall!" I scold.

"Well, technically it's my T-shirt. I mean, you can wear it if you want, but I'm the one who got it at a concert a few years ago."

She stares at Johnny and hoarsely whispers, "I slept with you?"

"Of course not. You haven't brushed your teeth."

"Lauren, relax. You didn't sleep with anyone."

"Yeah, you just French-kissed me."

"Oh, no!"

"It's not the end of the world," Marshall says sourly.

"Yeah, he's a good kisser, isn't he, Patty?"

"Marshall, you kissed Johnny, too?"

"Only because Patty did."

"Why were we all kissing each other?"

Johnny points out, "You girls didn't kiss each other."

"But I am completely fine with it you do."

I roll my eyes at Marshall.

It's Johnny who belatedly answers, "I think it's The City."

"The City?" she repeats.

"Yeah, look at it out there."

She looks at the picture window and cries, "Damn, we're high up!"

"Yeah, ten stories. And you see the lights and the buildings and it's scary and beautiful at the same time. The world looks different. And what's familiar seems different, too, but still comforting. And that's why you kissed Marshall."

That sounds both baffling and profound. I glance at Marshall and he shrugs.

But Lauren says, "Safe and risky at the same time."

"Right. And that's probably why I kissed Patty and Marshall."

"So then neither of you is attracted to me?" Marshall looks hurt and offended.

Johnny says, "I don't kiss people I'm not attracted to."

"Would you kiss me?" Lauren asks.

"Not until you brush."

She sighs in annoyance. "Fine, I'll go brush." She gets up, taking the glass with her.

I feel very confused. And I feel like I'm going to end up kissing Lauren and I don't know how I feel about that. And it's not like these kisses are separate and private. The four of us continue to do things as a group.

I suddenly wonder if it's just going to be kissing.

"Where's Lauren going to sit?" Marshall asks.

"Huh?" I say.

"Well, if she's going to kiss Johnny, then she should probably sit next to him. But I'm hoping she might kiss me again. But I'm willing to sacrifice that for a chance to see girls kiss."

I'm about to say I'm not sure if girls are going to kiss, but if you think about it, I never pictured kissing Marshall before, so it wouldn't really be any stranger to kiss Lauren.

Before I can formulate a reply, Johnny says in his straightforward yet convoluted manner, "She should sit between me and Patty. Then she can kiss either or both of us and you can watch. And then if she does want to kiss you, you two can lean over past Patty like we did."

"That works."

I shake my head. "I can't believe this is happening."

"I know, isn't it cool?" Johnny says.

I smile. "Yeah." I kiss him again. I can't say that he's better or worse than Marshall. I'm more attracted to him, with his height, blond rat-tail, and muscles I noticed back in freshman year when he competed with Vinnie for high school mascot. And I like his personality better, but there is something cuddly and lovable about Marshall, if you can get past his terrible jokes. Or I don't know, maybe they're part of his charm.

As for kissing styles, Johnny's is lighter and more playful, while Marshall's is sloppier and more enthusiastic. I can't help wondering what Lauren's would be.

"OK, break it up, you two, Lauren's back."

Johnny and I separate and make space for Lauren.

"Oh, is that where I'm sitting?"

"Yeah, make yourself comfortable, Dollface."

She looks at Marshall suspiciously. "You're not putting me next to you?"

"How could you kiss Johnny from way over there?"

"Right." She sits down in the empty spot. "Um, just so you all know, I'm still kind of drunk but I am aware of what's going on now."

"Cool," Johnny says. "It's more fun that way."

She looks at me. "This is so weird."

I nod. "I know. But they're both good kissers."

"Thank you," both guys say simultaneously.

"OK. It's just, well, it's them."

"I know."

"Why do you say it like that?" Marshall asks defensively.

"Well, you know, you're our platonic guy-friends."

"You weren't kissing me platonically at the stealth concert."

"I guess. But I was really drunk then. Um, how non-platonically was it?"

"You want me to show you?"

She hesitates and then says, "Patty, switch places with me."

"OK."

"Um, are we still gonna kiss?" Johnny asks.

"Yeah, but I think I need to re-kiss Marshall first. Now that I'm less wasted. I mean, the poor guy has had a crush on me all these years. It seems only fair."

Marshall looks embarrassed. "You knew?"

"I told you, everyone knows. Even Pennifer."

"Marshall, you came up with a phony science experiment to 'prove' that I was as much in love with you as you were with me."

"I was a stupid little freshman then. And I wasn't in love with you."

"No?"

"Massively infatuated, sure. But who knows what love is when they're fourteen?"

"Priscilla Presley?" Johnny suggests.

"Patty, can we switch now?"

"Sure."

We stand up and swap places on the couch, so that now she's next to Marshall and I'm next to Johnny again. This feels more right, that we pair off like this, although crossing the pairs is an interesting idea, too.


	5. I'd Be Cuter Without Gum in My Braces

"Well, Marshall, are you gonna kiss me or what?"

"You initiated it last time."

"I did? Well, I don't know how I did."

"I don't think you two have to do an exact reconstruction."

"Yeah," Johnny says, "just kiss without thinking about it, like before."

"It's different now. I mean, I'm more aware that you two are watching."

"We could shut our eyes," Johnny suggests.

"No, I'll shut my eyes," Lauren says and does so.

"Relax, Dollface," Marshall says, stroking her cheek. And then he lightly kisses her. He's sweet, in a different way than Johnny.

She kisses back. It's a shyer kiss than their first. Marshall doesn't even use his tongue. But it's definitely not a platonic kiss.

Afterwards, she says, "That was nice. Not what I pictured, but nice."

"It was different this time."

"You know, you're the first guy I've kissed since I stopped wearing a retainer."

"That reminds me, you still owe me your braces."

"Number one, I was kidding, and number two, you thought it was a love offering."

"Patty, if you get contacts, can I have your glasses?"

"Why would you want my glasses, Johnny?"

"I want to see the world from your point of view."

"Now that's romantic," Lauren says.

"More romantic than braces," I say.

"Maybe Marshall wants to know how the world tastes to me."

"Or he envies your braces spending so much time in your mouth."

"God, Patty, that is disgusting on so many levels!"

"Sorry."

"So are you two gonna kiss or what?" Marshall asks impatiently. We look at him. "Um, inquiring minds want to know."

We look at each other and she asks, "Did you want to kiss me?"

"I don't know. Only if you want to."

"Maybe. But not necessarily in front of the guys."

"Yeah, knowing it's going to make Marshall salivate does make me more self-conscious."

"Hey!" he exclaims.

Johnny asks, "Patty, did it arouse you when Marshall and I kissed?"

"Johnny!" I can't believe he'd ask that.

But Lauren says, "It might turn me on a little. Depending on the kiss."

"You wouldn't feel weird about it?" I ask.

"Well, maybe because it's them. Was it weird for you?"

"Yeah, especially with the surprise factor."

"You're going to make me kiss Johnny again before you'll kiss Patty, aren't you?"

"Nah, no point changing the seating arrangements again just yet." Lauren strokes my hair and gently brings my head closer for a kiss.

I'm surprised but not. I think of how close we've been, all we've gone through. Lauren is so familiar to me, and yet this is definitely something new. I love her and this feels right, weird as it may be.

"Oh, wow!"

We stop kissing, shake our heads, and simultaneously say, "Marshall."

"Sorry, sorry, go back to what you were doing."

She says, "Not if you're going to perve out about it."

"I was not perving out!"

"I think he just meant it was really beautiful," Johnny says.

Was it? A kiss looks different when you're in it.

"OK, then, Johnny, switch places with me and kiss Marshall."

"OK."

They both stand up but before they can sit down again, he asks, "Should we kiss now?"

"Um, OK."

She stands on tiptoes and he leans down to meet her lips. I'm not sure what I'm feeling watching them. Not excitement, not jealousy, but maybe elements of those. I know what it's like to kiss each of them, but I can never really know what it's like for either of them.

"That was nice. Thank you, Lauren."

"Thank you. Now it'll be easier for me to relate to you and Marshall kissing. Sort of."

"Yeah."

They sit down on either side of me, but switched. Lauren takes my hand when the guys start kissing, but I don't know if it's flirtation or affection or just wanting to be connected as we watch this. I squeeze her hand though, glad we're sort of experiencing this together, although it may seem different to her than to me. This time, it's less strange for me. I guess I'm getting more used to it.

Afterwards, Marshall says, "So is this how we're spending the rest of the night? Pairing off and kissing?"

"Well, we could all go to bed together," Johnny says matter-of-factly.

"Johnny!" I say in shock.

"We don't have to do more than kiss. I just figured it'd be easier if we're not all sitting in a row."

"Yeah," Marshall says, "we could lie down and kiss."

I don't know if I trust the guys that much. But part of me is tempted I'll admit, even if it might lead to more.

"Rain check?" Lauren says. "I mean, this is a lot for one night, and I'm still not 100% sober."

"OK, yeah, that's fine," Johnny says.

"Grad Nite?" Marshall suggests, raising his thick brown eyebrows.

"Marshall," she says but in a way that I can tell that she's really tempted.

"Let's take this slow," I say. "Whatever this is."

"Yeah, whatever you're comfortable with, Patty. I'm just happy that we all kissed." In some ways, Johnny is a simple soul, easily made happy, although I've seen him easily made sad. It's one of the things I love about him.

"Johnny, can Patty and I have the bed?"

"Oo, can I sit in a chair and watch?" Marshall says, although I wonder if some of this is just an act, playing the post-high-school-pre-college boy perve because that's what we expect.

"There's not going to be much to watch. I need to sleep more of this off."

"You can have the couch, Marshall. I don't sleep much at night anyway. And someone should probably take Lauren's clothes down to the laundry room."

"Oh, yeah, by the way, what happened to my clothes?"

"They stink from all your drinking. Oh, and the puke that got on your blouse," Marshall says bluntly.

"Oh." I can tell she doesn't remember that part of the evening either. I wonder if tomorrow she'll remember the kissing on and near the couch.

"And on that romantic note, what do you say to a goodnight kiss, Angel?"

"How can I resist such sweet talk?"

They both stand up and kiss. I watch them until Johnny taps my arm and says, "Patty?"

"Yeah, of course." So we kiss goodnight. I don't know if we'll need to switch partners again, so that I kiss Marshall goodnight and Lauren kisses Johnny. I try to just focus on Johnny's mouth, and his hands on my back. Then I stroke his rat-tail.

"Goodnight, Marshall."

"Sweet dreams, Babe. OK, you two, get up so I can sleep."

I say, "Goodnight, Johnny."

"Goodnight, Patty. Come back to the living room if you want to talk or anything."

"While I'm sleeping?" Marshall whines, and I don't think he's even sleepy. He just wants to complain.

"We'll go down to the laundry room," Johnny says.

"Thanks, Johnny." I stand up and say, "Goodnight, Marshall."

"Goodnight, Patty. Take care of our girl, OK?"

"Ugh, Marshall, you are so corny!" she groans.

"Hey, you love it."

"No comment." Johnny is standing now so she kisses him on the chin. I kiss Marshall on the cheek and then follow her back into the bedroom.


	6. I'd Like It If They'd Like Us

I guess I'll have to sleep in my clothes, unless I borrow Johnny's shirt, which is clingy and has electric-blue Dalmatian spots. I just take off my shoes before I get into bed.

Lauren slides over and whispers, "Can we talk?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." I wonder if she wants to talk about me and her, or her and Marshall, or maybe even her and Johnny.

"Thanks. I couldn't say all this in front of the guys. And maybe I won't be able to say it tomorrow when I'm sober."

"OK." Here we go, although I don't know what "here" will be.

"First of all, about me kissing Marshall at the club."

"Yeah?"

"I do remember it a little. But the details are fuzzy."

"Oh. Well, he made a lame joke and you said he was funny and cute. And then you kissed him. A big sloppy kiss, which he totally was into."

"Oh."

"Lauren, when you were joking about getting drunk and letting him have his way with you, how much were you joking?"

She sighs. "I don't know, Patty. It's a big deal, isn't it? Sex and everything."

"Yeah."

"Even kissing is so huge. I mean, it kind of was with the guys I dated but this is different because I know Marshall, all three of you, so well."

"Yeah."

"This isn't ruining our friendship, is it?"

"Yours and mine or all of ours?"

"Both I guess."

"No, I don't think so. We all still like each other. It's just different now, although we don't know exactly how."

"Yeah. So about Marshall, I do like him, not just as a friend. Maybe not in freshman year but, yeah, over time he's grown on me."

"Like a wart?"

"Ha. No, I realized recently, he's like Rob Donovan 15 years ago."

"He's not a drug dealer."

"Patty, that was never proven."

"Sorry."

"No, what I meant is, well, isn't Rob a huge nerd? He's short and he wears glasses, no offense, and he was probably as big a loser in high school as any of us, although still really cool in his own way."

"I guess, yeah."

"And, yeah, his sense of humor is very subtle and obscure, while Marshall seems like he's constantly auditioning for _The Ed Sullivan Show_ or something."

I laugh. "You're right."

"But maybe Marshall is as close as I'm going to get to a Rob Donovan my age. Only different, you know?"

"I think so. Johnny doesn't fit any of my usual types but I think I like that about him."

"You've always had a crush on him, haven't you? I mean, even when I was trying to get the guys to not hang around us so much."

"Yeah. Not a major crush back then, but yeah."

"I'm sorry, Patty."

I shake my head. "It's OK."

"Well, anyway, I want to see where this goes with Marshall, especially once we're out of Weemawee."

"Yeah, but we're all going to go our separate ways soon."

"There's vacations and stuff. We'll see them, just not every day, which may be a good thing. Get some perspective."

"Yeah."

"As for you and me."

My heartbeat speeds up.

"Do you remember back when you were in _Cafeteria Line_?"

"Yeah, of course."

"I was so proud of you, the star of the musical."

"I know." I'm not clear where she's going with this.

"And, well, Jennifer called me a dyke."

"I wouldn't take that too personally. Remember when she said the math test was 'queer' because it was about irrational numbers?"

"No, this was more than the usual DiNuccio bitchiness. She saw the way I was beaming when you were onstage and she said, 'No wonder you dress like a boy. You're a total dyke for your flat-chested friend, huh?' "

"Oh, Lauren, I'm sorry!" Lauren did dress kind of butch in freshman year, but she looked cute and fashionable in her own way.

"Thanks, but let me finish. This was backstage and the only person who heard her was Johnny. I went to a corner to cry and he found me and said, 'Your eyes are too pretty to cry, Lauren.' "

"He said that?" I feel both jealous and touched.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure if he was flirting with me or what, but it was sweet. I mean, if Marshall said it, he'd be awkwardly hitting on me, but with Johnny, who knows? And then he said, 'Pennifer is just jealous that she and LaDonna never talk about anything real.' "

"Yeah, their friendship is a little shallower than ours."

She shakes her head. "There's more. I talked to Johnny about this a couple years ago. Because." She takes a deep breath and goes on. "Maybe my feelings for you aren't 100% platonic."

"Oh. Why did you confide in Johnny?"

"Because he's weird. And nonjudgmental. Well, except about people's breath apparently."

I laugh. "Yeah. So what did he say?"

"He said that he's not 100% straight and it's OK if I'm not. And I didn't have to tell you unless I wanted to. I mean, I know you're straight, or mostly."

I slowly say, "I think Marshall and I are mostly straight." I smile at her. "With the exceptions of our feelings for our best friends."

She smiles back. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

We kiss, a long, sweet kiss with a bit of tongue.

Afterwards, she says, "I don't want to fool around tonight, even with you."

"I know. I do want to take this all slowly. It's complicated because there's four of us and we don't know anything about how that would work."

"Yeah. I don't have strong feelings for Johnny, but I'm fond of him."

"Yeah, it's the same thing for me and Marshall."

"I mean, it'd be like if Lenny wanted to get with Shirley."

I laugh. "Does that make me Laverne?"

"Sort of."

"Thanks. I think."

"Anyway, I'm glad you're cool about this."

"I'm glad you told me. And I understand why you didn't before."

"Yeah. And I have tried to encourage you to go out with guys."

"I know. You were always pushing me to date. But I just figured you saw my potential boyfriends as stepping stones to increased popularity."

"Well, that was a factor."

"I don't think Jennifer and the others would be impressed if they knew about all this."

"Yeah, Muffy already calls us 'the gruesome foursome.' "

"Yeah. God, what are we going to tell our parents?"

"Do they even know we're staying overnight in The City?"

I explain about that.

"Oh. I don't know. I mean, I guess we don't have to tell anyone in school, but if this does go somewhere, we might have to say something to our folks."

"Yeah. Or on the other hand, they might just figure it's the same old same old. I mean, remember when my dad asked why 'my boyfriend' had purple and blond hair?"

She laughs. "I remember. And all those pictures my dad took on Prom Night.

"Yeah. We already hang out together. You and me, and the four of us. It's only if we go on actual dates that people might wonder."

She nods. "I guess we'll just see how the summer goes."

"OK."

She yawns. "I really do need to sleep."

"Yeah, get some rest."

I consider going into the living room and offering to help Johnny with the laundry, especially since it's my best friend's clothing. But instead I lie here, listening to Lauren breathe, until my brain finally shuts off and I fall asleep, too.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
